Transcript
This is a transcribed copy of Dante's Inferno.
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Previous: "Puppy Dreams" Next: "Better the De Vil You Know"

[seagulls squawking]

[beeping]


Dalmatian puppies: She goes so fast, she goes so high. Watch our Dolly touch the sky! Go, Dolly!

Dante [offscreen]: My prediction?

Dante: It will end in disaster, complete with broken bones, howling puppies, and --

Dolly: Hey! Do you mind?

Dante: Just sayin'.

Dolly: So gonna rip it up!

Dalmatian puppies: Go, Dolly!

Dolly: Wah-hoo!

Dimitri Trio: Dolly! Dolly! Dolly!

Dante: I can hardly bear to look!

Dolly: Yeah!

Dante: So not going to end well! But end it will!

Dolly: [blowing raspberry] Ta-da!

Dalmatian puppies: [cheering]

Dizzy: [giggles] Silly Dante!

Dee Dee: Wrong again!

Dante: So, OK, I've had a few fails.


Dante: The storm of the apocalypse is nigh!

[birds tweeting]

Dante: Oh.


Dante: The floods are upon us!

Dylan: [sighs] Go away, Dante.


Dante: Aliens are coming to suck out our brains!

Dawkins: Princess Positron is a celebrated engin --


Dante: Aw. But I can see the future. Ow.

Dimitri 1: Didn't see that coming though, did you, Dante?

Dimitri Trio: [laughing]

Dante: Huh?

Dylan, Dolly, and dalmatian puppies: [laughing]

Dolly: Dante and his predictions.

Dylan: Yeah, it's not like anything bad's gonna happen.


Cuddles: [purring]

[beeping]

[buzzes]

Hunter: [barks]

Cruella De Vil's minion: [groans]

Hunter: [barks]

Cruella De Vil's minion: Oi, you're not puppies.

Cuddles: [meows]

Hunter: [barks]

Cuddles: [mewls]

Cruella De Vil's minion: Ah!

Cuddles: [hisses]

Hunter: [screams] Ugh. How long have I been in there all alone? [growls] Gimme that! I got me a hate date with some fluffy puppies. Hashtag "fur."


Dalmatian puppies: [chattering and laughing]

Delgado: Comin' through!

Dalmatian puppies: [whimpering and howling]

Dylan: Boy, misery guts is a real buzzkill.

Dolly: OK, so how about we take a crack at cheering him up?


Dylan: OK, no blues can survive the stroking machine.

Dolly: OK, plan B. Snowball's fur foot tickle.

Snowball: Assume the position.

Dolly: Ugh, no.

Dante: [whimpers]

Dylan: Uh, oh! Wanna sneak peak at my Galaxy's Grooviest Nebulae sticker album?

Dolly: Yeah, heh, stand down. I got this. Whoop, whoop, whoop! Oh, don't tell me you don't dig this, Dante.

Dante: Dante don't dig this! leave me alone. Everybody thinks I'm a joke.

Dylan: So that's what's been getting him, well, extra down?

Dolly: Hmm. [gasp] Hey, how about we fake stuff so it seems like his predictions are coming true? Oh, so on it!

Dylan: Good luck with that. His predictions never come true.


Hunter: [sinister laugh]


Dante: Sigh. I predict that nobody will play with me.

Dee Dee: Look! Poor Dante's all on his own.

Dizzy: Aw.

Dolly: I wouldn't. Word is, he's got fleas.

Dizzy & Dee Dee: Ew! Fleas!

Dante: Hey, I was right.


Hunter: [sniffs] Mm.

Cuddles: [hisses]


Dylan: [whistles]

Dante: With any luck, this will end in disaster.

[loud crash]

Dylan: Ah! Ah!

Dolly: Oh, Dante, you were right on the money.

Dalmatian puppies: Wow!

Dante: So I was!

Dylan: [scoffs] Yeah, right.

Dolly: Huh!


Hunter: That's right, puppies. Hunter's... [barking]

Cuddles: [hisses]


Dante: Hey, you know what? Now I predict rain. [gasp] Hey, is that...

Dizzy: Dante, Dante! You were right!

Dee Dee: It's raining!

Dante: Who knew? [gasp] Actually, I did!

Dolly: Yes.

Dante: [gasps and whimpers]


Dante: Hunter's cat! The one with no hair!

Deepak: [panting] Hunter tried to vacuum us up!


[puppies screaming]


Destiny: Are they back?

Dallas: I'm getting deja vu!

Deja Vu: You called?

Dante: They're coming for you! And you. And you. And you. And you. And you. And you. They're coming for us all!

Dylan: No, they're not! Stop with the predictions, Dante. You're scaring the pups. So you saw a bald cat. Big deal. That doesn't mean that Hunter is -- back!

Hunter: Puppies, come out and play!

Dylan: Aah! Hunter really is back!

Dalmatian puppies: [scream]

Dolly: With surprisingly glossy hair!

Dylan: Quick, everyone upstairs! Now!

Dante: Finally! The end of the world!

D.J.: [grunting]

Dante: I knew it! I warned you. I warned you all! But you didn't listen! Hey, what's happening to my face? My tail! It's wagging? [laughing]

Da Vinci and two other dalmatian puppies: [scampering]

Dante: This is fantastic! Whoo-hoo! I've never felt so alive! Which is a shame, because the world really is about to end! Who's laughing now?! You there! Do you know what day it is? It's Doomsday. [titters] Yes, it is!

Dorthy: [growls]

Dante: I saw that coming

Speaker Dialogue
TBA
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