Long Tongue Day/Transcript

— This is a transcribed copy of Long Tongue Day. —

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Previous: "A Summer to Remember"

Next: "Doggy Da Vinci"

Long Tongue Day

Transcript

Delgado and Diesel: [panting]

Postman: [panting]

Diesel [exhaustingly]: Postman. Oh.

Postman [exhaustingly]: [panting] Ugh!

Diesel [exhaustingly]: Woof, woof.

[fan blowing]

Deepak, Da Vinci, Dizzy and Dee Dee: [exhaustingly moaning]

Triple D: [all panting]

Dalmatian puppies: [all panting]

Dylan: Oh, dog. It's gonna be the longest long tongue day of the summer.

Dolly: [grunts]

Dylan: Off the scale!

Dolly: [mumbling]

Dylan: What?

Dolly: [coughs] Dry tongue.

Dylan: Only one thing for it. Pool!

Dalmatian puppies: [all exclaim]

Dolly: Argh!

Dylan: We're gonna need a bigger pool.

Dolly: Hey, how about the pond in the --

Dylan and Dolly [in unison]: park.

Dalmatian puppies: Park!

Dolly: Uh, this is better, right? [grunting]

Dylan [offscreen]: Sorry, sorry.

Dolly [offscreen]: Move it! Comin' through.!

Background dog [offscreen]: Watch it!

Fergus: What up, D-dog?

Dylan: Is all of Camden in here?

Big Fee: Well, when the swan's away.

Ducks: [quacking]

Big Fee: [grunts] [whinnies] Ugh! First bath of the year.

Dylan: Ew! If only we had the ponds to ourselves, wi-with the pups, of course.

Dolly: [gasps] Hey, what if we create a monster to scare everyone else off?

Dylan: I don't know, sounds kinda sketchy.

Big Fee: [grunting]

Dylan: [shudders]

Dolly: Imagine how clean the pond would be.

[bright orchestral music playing]

Dylan: Ow.

Ducks: [blowing raspberries]

Dylan: I'm in.

Dolly: This'll cool you down until we --

Dylan: Make alternative arrangements. [evil laughs]

Dolly: Dawkins, you're in charge.

Dawkins: Oh, Kibbles.

Dylan [offscreen]: And no drinkin' the bath water!

[sirens blaring]

Dylan: The Camden Kraken? Don't be crazy, sis. There's no such thing as a pond monster with scales and teeth.

Dolly: No, it's got scales, teeth, and tentacles.

Godfrey: Fangs, feels, things! [howling]

Hansel, Roxy, Snowball, and background dogs: [howling]

Arabella: It's the Camden Kraken!

Prunella: Kraken?

Arabella: [howling]

Clarissa: There's a monster on the loose?

Clarissa [offscreen]: Somebody save me!

Dylan: Almost there.

Sid: [humming] [yells]

[Jaws soundtrack]

Background dog: [screams]

[Jaws soundtrack continues]

Duck: [quacks]

Dolly: [laughing]

Dylan: Well, now that we've got the pond all to ourselves...

Dolly: We should... uh...

Dylan: Uh, get the pups.

Dolly: Yeah, yeah, sure.

Dylan: Not have a sneaky swim, just us.

Dolly: Oh, no, we can't. Dylan, you bad.

Big Fee: Get your Camden Kraken souvenirs!

Dolly: [clears throat] Park! Park! Park! Pa--!

Dylan: Wait, somethings up!

[puppies sigh]

Dizzy: No, no, close them! [screams]

Dee Dee: The Camden Kraken will see us and eat us!

Dolly: Oh no, where'd you hear about the Kraken?

Delgado: It's majorly trendin' on the World Wide Woof.

Destiny: Have you not heard about it?

Dallas: Oh, my dog!

Deja Vu: Have you been living under a rock?

Dizzy: I bet the Camden Kraken lives under a rock.

Dee Dee: [screams]

Dante: This is just the beginning of the end of all dogkind!

Dylan: Guys, you know what I always say.

Dee Dee: "Quit playin' with your Kibble."

Delgado: "Don't leave your toys on the stairs."

Diesel: "Stop dragging your butt across the rug?"

Dylan: No, I mean yes, but also don't believe everything you hear on the World Wide Woof.

Dolly: Because we invented the Camden Kraken.

Dylan: That's right, it was all us.

Deepak: You're just saying that so we won't be scared.

Diesel: I saw it with my own two eyes.

Delgado: And it had three eyes!

D.J.: Two heads!

Da Vinci: And three layers of green teeth!

Dante: It's real.

Dawkins: I concur, eyewitness accounts are entirely compatible with suppressed scientific evidence that velociraptor and theropod hybrids in fact survived and are now... right here in Camden!

Dylan: Dolly, the heat has gone to their heads!

Dylan: We gotta hose 'em down.

Dolly [offscreen]: All set1

[pipes growl]

Dante: [gasps] The creature's in the pipes!

Dalmatian puppies: [all scream]

Dylan: Guys, come back, it's just the taps making noise 'cause the water pressure's low. Oh!

Dizzy: I'm never touching water again!

Dee Dee: Never ever, ever!

Dalmatain puppy: Never!

Dalmatian puppy 1: Never!

Dalmatian puppy 2: Never!

Dalmatian puppy 3: Never!

Dalmatian puppy 4: Never!

Dalmatian puppy 5: Never!

Dalmatian puppies: Never!

Dylan: Well, we tried. So, in the meantime...

Dolly: Quick dip?

Dylan and Dolly: [both laughing]

Dylan: Oh, are you kidding me?

Pearl: Pond closed until further notice due to Camden Kraken infestation.

Dylan: Oh, Dolly, what've we done?

Big Fee [offscreen]: Get your Camden Kraken merch here!

Big Fee: Get it before it gets you.

Dolly: Hey, hey, hey, hey, Dylan. What if we get the monster before it gets them?

Dylan: Oh, no, not you too! Dolly, there is no monster!

Dolly: Duh! Ugh, try to keep up. I mean, we make a monster, defeat it in front of the pups, and --

Dylan: No more monster! Like your style, monster slayer.

Dolly [offscreen]: I don't care how big and nasty it is...

Dolly: ...no monster messes with my family.

Dylan: Yeah, we're gonna make that Camden Kraken cry like the little Camden Kraken baby it is!

Dolly: Hi-ya!

Dylan: Who's with me?

Diesel: Huh?

Dalmatian puppies and dogs and animals and monsters: [all exclaiming]

Godfrey: Uh, what's going on?

Dawkins: Dylan and Dolly must be suffering from something what's called, Dryus Tongus. It's the only explanation for it.

Godfrey [whispering]: For what?

Dante: They're going to attempt to slay the... Camden Kraken!

Godfrey: [laughs] They don't stand a chance against a three-headed, five-eyed, multi-tentacled, sharp-toothed, razor-tailed, fire-breathing beast!

Dylan [offscreen]: Hear ye, hear ye!

Dylan: All gathered today shall bare witness to a slaying!

Godfrey and dalmatian puppies and background dogs and animals and monsters: Huh?

Dolly: You heard him, folks. a slay-huh-huh-huh-aying!

Pearl: Oi! What part of do not use the pond don't you understand?

Dylan: Stand back, little lady! We are here to rid this pond of the Camden Kraken and render it safe for all!

Pearl: Ha! Step away from the pond.

Dylan: We shall slay it on the water. We shall slay it in the playground. We shall slay it in the flower beds and in the, the...

Dolly: Public lavatories?

Dylan: Public lavatories!

Dizzy: Don't do it!

Dee Dee: Dylan, Dolly, noooo!

Dante: Don't you know that the Camden Kraken's favorite food is... dalmatian? [echoing]

[electronic dance music playing]

Dylan: Rawr!

Dalmatian puppies and background dogs and animals: [gasping]

[electronic dance music playing]

"Camden Kraken": [roars]

Dylan: Huah!

Dolly: Hah!

[electronic dance music playing]

Dylan: Hi-ya!

Dolly: Huh!

Dylan: Hah!

Dante: Uh...

Dolly: Ree-yah!

Dylan: Rawr!

Godfrey: Hmm... [laughing]

Dolly: Yeah, take that, pond scum!

Dylan: Ah-ha! The Camden Kraken is no more!

Dante: That's not even shaped like a Kraken!

Dawkins: Where are the tentacles?

Delgado: That's weak.

D.J.: Word.

Dizzy: Is that it?

Dee Dee: I dream scarier monsters.

Background balmatian puppies and background dogs and animals and monsters: [laughing]

Dante, Dawkins, Da Vinci, Delgado, Deepak, D.J., Dizzy & Dee Dee, Hansel, Godfrey, Portia, Spencer, Roxy, and background dogs and background animals and background monsters: [all laughing]

Dylan: Well, guess everyone can use the pond again, right? [nervously laughs] Job done. [grunts]

Swan: Quack!

Background dalmatian puppies and dogs and animals monsters: [scream]

Dylan: What? What is it?

Swan: [hisses]

Dylan and Dolly: Ah!

Dylan: A real monster! Oh, my dog! Oh, my dog! Oh, my dog!

Dolly: Wh-what up Mr. Swan?

Dylan: That's Sir Swan to us.

Dolly: [nervously laughs] Good vacay?

Swan: If you're referring to my royal stay at Balmoral, then, yes, the "vacay" was rather splendid. But I love nothing more than returning to the privacy of my own wee pond with no one else in it! [hisses]

[water gurgling]

Dolly: Yep, sure, your pond, got it.

Dolly: Bow-waka -- wow.

Dalmatian puppies and background dogs and animals: [whimpering]

Big Fee: [farts]

Dylan: Ugh!

Big Fee: Ugh, that one snuck up from the valise. Better out than in, eh?

Dalmatian puppies: Ew!

Dylan: Phew!