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This is a transcribed copy of My Fair Dolly.
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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Speaker Dialogue
TBA

♪♪

27

00:00:58,041 --> 00:01:02,667

[classical music plays]

28

00:01:02,750 --> 00:01:05,458

[clamoring]

29

00:01:05,542 --> 00:01:06,959

[classical music plays]

30

00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:08,792

[clamoring]

31

00:01:08,875 --> 00:01:10,375

[classical music plays]

32

00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:12,041

[clamoring]

33

00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:18,667

[classical music plays]

34

00:01:18,750 --> 00:01:20,000

[clamoring]

35

00:01:20,083 --> 00:01:22,458

[classical music plays]

36

00:01:22,542 --> 00:01:25,000

[clamoring]

37

00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:30,834

-[classical music plays]

-[clamoring]

38

00:01:30,917 --> 00:01:32,250

[exclaiming]

39

00:01:33,166 --> 00:01:34,041

[gasps, exclaims]

40

00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:36,333

-[growls]

-Can I get my chicken?

41

00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,792

[gasps] Ugh! Wild creature!

42

00:01:39,875 --> 00:01:41,458

Simply dreadful.

43

00:01:41,542 --> 00:01:42,750

-[growling]

-Sorry!

44

00:01:42,834 --> 00:01:44,750

Ugh! Simply no petiquette!

45

00:01:44,834 --> 00:01:46,125

Here we go.

46

00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:48,875

-They don't even have a human!

-[all gasp]

47

00:01:48,959 --> 00:01:50,667

Yep, you got that right.

48

00:01:50,750 --> 00:01:54,375

And there's so many of them.

Like... like lice!

49

00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:56,375

You throwin' shade at my fam now?

50

00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:58,000

Lowering the tone of the neighborhood.

51

00:01:58,083 --> 00:02:01,500

But what can one expect from...

[haughtily] Dalmatians?

52

00:02:01,583 --> 00:02:03,458

Hey! Just as good as you.

53

00:02:03,542 --> 00:02:05,542

[giggles] Can you show me the evidence?

54

00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,417

I bet you can't.

55

00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,166

Can't? Can't?

56

00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:11,500

Dalmatians can do anything!

57

00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:12,792

[giggles] Is that so?

58

00:02:12,875 --> 00:02:14,834

Well, then, you'll have

no problem participating

59

00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,709

in this Sunday's Pooch Petiquette Cup.

60

00:02:17,792 --> 00:02:21,291

Participate? Ha! I'll win it!

61

00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:24,750

Dawkins, cue Kiki analysis

of pooch petiquette.

62

00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:29,250

Research suggests

that it involves prancing,

63

00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:33,166

dainty dining,

and just the right accessories.

64

00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:36,166

Also, no barking, growling,

biting, leaping, jumping,

65

00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:38,667

trampoline-ing, skateboarding,

chasing cars, attacking postmen,

66

00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:42,333

and positively

no tongue-flapping in wind, ever.

67

00:02:43,208 --> 00:02:44,917

Ha. There go your hobbies.

68

00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,625

Oh, you think I can't out-posh

69

00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,583

that pampered powder puff?

70

00:02:49,792 --> 00:02:51,208

Um, yeah.

71

00:02:51,291 --> 00:02:53,917

-Sure, you can.

-[clearing throat]

72

00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,041

Something wrong with your throat?

Just watch me!

73

00:02:57,125 --> 00:03:00,125

-Cue makeover montage!

-[in unison] You called?

74

00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:02,750

[whooping]

75

00:03:08,834 --> 00:03:11,166

Uh... [coughing]

76

00:03:13,834 --> 00:03:14,834

Atta diva!

77

00:03:14,917 --> 00:03:16,625

-Take it...

-To the street!

78

00:03:18,208 --> 00:03:19,834

-[all gasp]

-Dolly?

79

00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:26,125

Okay. Way itchy, but uh...

80

00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,333

Whoa! Whoa!

81

00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:31,917

[grunts]

82

00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,500

Oh, wow. Yeah, you got the moves.

83

00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:35,709

-[growling]

-Uh, uh, uh!

84

00:03:35,792 --> 00:03:37,959

Remember, no growling.

85

00:03:39,917 --> 00:03:46,959

♪♪

86

00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:51,709

-I say, are you new?

-No.

87

00:03:51,792 --> 00:03:54,750

It is I, Dolly Dalmatian!

88

00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:57,333

-[all gasps]

-[bicycle bell rings]

89

00:03:57,875 --> 00:04:00,333

Postman! Postman, postman...

90

00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:02,166

Dolly, Dolly, Dolly.

91

00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:04,583

It's not what you wear that counts,

92

00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:07,834

it's manners that maketh the mutt.

93

00:04:07,917 --> 00:04:09,709

I'm gonna beat that Corgi if it's...

94

00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:11,709

The last thing you do.

95

00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:13,542

But no dog has ever attempted

96

00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:15,917

such an advanced petiquette program.

97

00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,083

-[growling]

-Commence said program!

98

00:04:18,166 --> 00:04:23,667

♪♪

99

00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:26,959

-Uh, uh, uh. No grabbing.

-Hey!

100

00:04:28,208 --> 00:04:31,083

-[Dawkins] No gobbling.

-[growls]

101

00:04:31,166 --> 00:04:33,750

[Dawkins]

And what did we say about growling?

102

00:04:33,834 --> 00:04:40,834

♪♪

103

00:04:59,542 --> 00:05:01,250

Conversion complete!

104

00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:08,375

♪♪

105

00:05:08,458 --> 00:05:11,667

-[haughtily] Ladies.

-[bicycle bell rings]

106

00:05:13,417 --> 00:05:14,250

[scoffs]

107

00:05:14,458 --> 00:05:16,000

-[chuckles]

-[bicycle bell rings]

108

00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:23,417

[postman panting]

109

00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:24,375

[toy bone squeaks]

110

00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:25,458

[chuckling]

111

00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:29,667

[all gasp]

112

00:05:29,834 --> 00:05:32,750

And so, to the pooch pageant.

113

00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:35,917

[Portia] But, Dolly, dear,

haven't you forgotten something?

114

00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:40,041

No human, no entry.

115

00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:41,125

[gasps]

116

00:05:43,792 --> 00:05:45,792

Dolly, what is the leash for?

117

00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:48,625

-One is getting human-ed up.

-[gasps]

118

00:05:48,709 --> 00:05:51,375

-[puppies giggle]

-A human?

119

00:05:51,458 --> 00:05:53,375

-Mm, inadvisable.

-Do something!

120

00:05:53,458 --> 00:05:55,834

-Humans break up...

-Dogs fams!

121

00:05:55,917 --> 00:05:58,542

For once, your statements

are actually evidence-based.

122

00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,291

[gasping, exclaiming]

123

00:06:01,375 --> 00:06:03,083

[chuckles]

124

00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,000

[Dolly] Not him. Next.

125

00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,750

Uh, no.

126

00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,208

[gasps] No!

127

00:06:12,875 --> 00:06:13,875

Nuh-uh.

128

00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,792

No. [gasps]

129

00:06:17,959 --> 00:06:19,667

Jackpot! [whines]

130

00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,667

Ohh, aren't you

131

00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,500

totes adorable? [chuckles]

132

00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:27,625

-But who do you belong to?

-[barks]

133

00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:31,625

[gasps] Where are we going?

134

00:06:32,583 --> 00:06:35,000

"Pooch Petiquette Cup"?

135

00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:37,917

Oh! Oh, why not?

136

00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,583

[puppies giggling]

137

00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:47,250

♪♪

138

00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:49,250

-[crowd gasps]

-[Portia] Who is she?

139

00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:50,333

Ooh!

140

00:06:52,041 --> 00:06:54,417

[crowd gasping]

141

00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,083

[all gasping]

142

00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,291

[giggling]

143

00:06:58,375 --> 00:07:00,125

[Portia] So chic.

144

00:07:01,625 --> 00:07:04,667

Dolly, Dolly, Dolly!

Can we be your gal pals?

145

00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:07,333

[Dolly] Uh, maybe just wait for me here?

146

00:07:07,417 --> 00:07:08,667

Seeing as you've no human.

147

00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:12,542

Darling, is that someone I should know?

148

00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,000

-One has arrived.

-[crowd gasps]

149

00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:18,917

[gasps] It's the ultimate best friend!

150

00:07:20,417 --> 00:07:22,458

Hmm? Uh... Oh!

151

00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,792

Totes! Let's do lunch.

152

00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:26,417

I know a great place.

153

00:07:27,583 --> 00:07:29,250

Mwah! Mwah!

154

00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:34,417

B-b-b-but she is the ruff-raff.

155

00:07:34,917 --> 00:07:36,542

Oh, Clarissa?

156

00:07:36,625 --> 00:07:39,250

Remember when I asked for your opinion?

157

00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,166

Yeah, me neither!

158

00:07:41,250 --> 00:07:42,291

-[growls]

-[crowd laughs]

159

00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:43,834

[growling, barking]

160

00:07:43,917 --> 00:07:45,500

Clarissa, what's gotten into you?

161

00:07:45,792 --> 00:07:49,542

I will win the crowd back

when I win that cup!

162

00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:52,875

Psst!

163

00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:56,750

Poor, dear Clarissa. So going to lose.

164

00:07:56,834 --> 00:07:58,500

[all laughing]

165

00:07:58,583 --> 00:08:01,125

-Go, Dolly.

-Good-luck hug?

166

00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,333

Uh...

167

00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,125

Your mussing one's coat.

168

00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:08,625

-[disappointed whine]

-As you were.

169

00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:12,375

Oh! Too late! Already human-ed up!

170

00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,125

What's your dog's name?

171

00:08:14,291 --> 00:08:16,041

Um, Camilla.

172

00:08:16,125 --> 00:08:18,500

-You look like a Camilla.

-[all gasp]

173

00:08:18,583 --> 00:08:21,458

-No! Don't cross...

-The line!

174

00:08:22,083 --> 00:08:23,458

-[both gasp]

-[yapping]

175

00:08:23,542 --> 00:08:25,792

Excuse me. Who owns these dogs?

176

00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:28,208

No one, that's who!

177

00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:29,917

-Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!

-[gasps]

178

00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:31,417

[groans]

179

00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:37,625

Dolly, what are you doing?

180

00:08:37,709 --> 00:08:39,375

Shoo, shoo!

181

00:08:39,458 --> 00:08:41,542

You're cramping one's style!

182

00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:45,583

Come home! With your family!

Before it's too late!

183

00:08:45,667 --> 00:08:47,250

One has a human now.

184

00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:49,625

I can't mix with ruff-raff like you.

185

00:08:49,709 --> 00:08:51,333

-"Ruff-raff"?

-What?

186

00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:52,625

-What?

-What?

187

00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:55,250

Besides, one has a cup to win.

188

00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:56,333

[woman] Camilla,

189

00:08:56,417 --> 00:08:59,500

stop barking at these filthy dogs!

190

00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:05,041

-[crowd applauds]

-Marvelous!

191

00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:08,000

Splendid!

192

00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:10,208

Brilliant!

193

00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:12,291

Even better!

194

00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:16,500

Oh, yes! Well, that's all nines for Hugo,

195

00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:18,542

with Clarissa the Corgi.

196

00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:21,417

May the best pet win.

197

00:09:21,959 --> 00:09:23,917

"Pet"? [gulps]

198

00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:24,959

Ooh!

199

00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:29,000

[yipping] [barking]

200

00:09:29,959 --> 00:09:31,750

Sit.

201

00:09:32,125 --> 00:09:33,875

-[crowd applauds]

-Heel.

202

00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:35,709

Walkies!

203

00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:38,625

-Wag your tail.

-[crowd cheers]

204

00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,125

-[yipping]

-[both gasp]

205

00:09:45,208 --> 00:09:47,959

[crowd cheers]

206

00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:50,625

Magnificent! We have a winner!

207

00:09:50,792 --> 00:09:54,000

-Toodle-oo Clarissa!

-Dolly, Stop it!

208

00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:55,583

You are not a pet!

209

00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:57,667

You are a dog!

210

00:09:57,750 --> 00:10:00,000

Now, give the paw, then roll over.

211

00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:02,834

[Dee Dee] Hey!

212

00:10:04,208 --> 00:10:06,375

You're mussing one's coat.

213

00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:07,750

As you were.

214

00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,667

-[Dolly] Dizzy? Dee Dee?

-[whines]

215

00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:13,000

Camilla, what are you doing?

216

00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:16,500

[yapping]

217

00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,959

Take us! We're not dogs!

218

00:10:19,041 --> 00:10:20,250

We're pets!

219

00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:21,291

-Dizzy?

-Dee Dee?

220

00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,250

[gasping]

221

00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,458

[bawling]

222

00:10:24,542 --> 00:10:26,208

Now, now, good pet.

223

00:10:27,875 --> 00:10:29,709

What have I done?

224

00:10:30,750 --> 00:10:32,875

[gasps] My tote!

225

00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:36,125

-Fetch!

-[gasping]

226

00:10:37,417 --> 00:10:40,417

[crowd clamoring]

227

00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,917

[exclaims]

228

00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,041

♪♪

229

00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:46,834

So long, Camilla! [chuckles]

230

00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:48,834

[all] Yeah!

231

00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:52,792

-Whoop. Whoop.

-[all laughing]

232

00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:55,500

Ugh!

233

00:10:55,583 --> 00:10:57,542

[man] Clarissa the Corgi!

234

00:10:57,625 --> 00:11:01,166

[fanfare plays]

235

00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:05,959

[all laughing]

236

00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:08,667

Mud bath is the new trend!

237

00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:11,166

-What was that?

-I'm sorry!

238

00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:12,750

Yes, and?

239

00:11:12,834 --> 00:11:14,625

I'm aware I took it too far.

240

00:11:14,709 --> 00:11:15,959

And?

241

00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:18,125

I almost became a...

242

00:11:18,208 --> 00:11:20,208

[sighs] ...pet.

243

00:11:20,291 --> 00:11:22,166

Huh! Petiquette...

244

00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:23,583

[both] So last week!

245

00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:25,792

But what about <i>moi?</i>

246

00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:27,834

I won!