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Transcript
This is a transcribed copy of Poetry Scam.
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Perfect Match" Next: "Crushed Out"

Dylan: Clouds are spots, way up high. If you just see spots, do you still see sky? (sighs) Ever see anything more blue?

Dolly: No. Never ever ever!

Dylan: Wha?

Dolly is expressing her crush and swooning over Hansel the Husky. Sappy music is played while pink blossoms swirl across beaming Hansel in the pink background. Hansel shifts his blue eyes on Dolly as she crushes in the reflection of them.

Dylan: Oh, Hansel. Of course. Will you just go over and say hello already?

Dolly: Ohhhh, okay. So um uh, hello! No, too formal. Um, yoohoo! Nah, too sappy. Hi, Hansel! I'm Dolly, the... dog! You're a dog! I'm a dog! We're all... dogs... Why do I end talking so funny? It's... those eyes.

Dylan: Clouds are just the closest part. The sky beyond is endless dark!

Dolly: Hi, Hansel! I'm Dolly. Do you like spots? I got spots.

Dylan: In that dark is endless stars. Just see spots, you missed the mark.

Dolly: Hi, Hansel. Uh, clouds are spots. Way up high. Wha? Oh. Dude, your poems in my head now! Go practice on someone else. We have like 100 brothers and sisters.

The Pups zip past Dylan and Dolly.

Dolly: How 'bout Diesel?

Dylan: Not exactly my target audience. No offense, Dies.

Diesel: (imitating Pearl Police horse's voice) Male with unidentified green object at 11 o'clock.

Dylan: His cone picks up random voices.

Diesel & Pearl: We're in pursuit.

Pearl: I'm taking you into custody. (laughs)

Dolly: *sighs dreamily, then clumsily trips and falls* Ahhhhh.... Waa oof!

Hansel: That happens around me sometimes. I'm not sure why. You okay?

Dolly: Hi, Hansley. I'm Dotsel. Dotsel? (clears throat) Dolly. I-I'm your new, hello? Aheh, you wanna, I mean, might you wanna? I mean, let's do stuff. Friends! Normal friends! Just...

Hansel: Wow. A gymnast and a poet.

Hansel catches a basketball that was about to strike Dolly. Hansel deflates it with his jaws and tosses it to the dogs that were playing with the ball.

Hansel: Hey, watch where you're throwing! Sorry about that.

Dolly: Uhhh, I'm just gonna go now.

Hansel: No, no! Please, more poetry.

Dolly: Uhhhh.... Clouds are spots, way up high. If you just see spots, do you still see sky? Umm... Clouds are the closest part, the sky beyond is endless dark. In that dark is endless stars. Just see spots, you missed the mark.

Hansel: ah, so you're a deep thinker. Probably why you trip over your paws, huh?

Dolly: Oh, they're not my words they're just-

Hansel: None of my friends get me. But you, Dolly. Your poem speaks to my inner wolf. Got any more?

Dolly: Oh yeah, tons.

*A cat screeches as the two dogs from earlier chase it.*

Hansel: A cat? Ugh, so cliche. Listen, I gotta take care of this. But um, meet me in the cemetery at dusk, okay?

Dolly: Uh, sure. Whoo! I got a date, I got a date, uheh! (realizing) Oh. I got a date...

Dolly: (sighs) You can do this. Serious poetry. Clouds, stars, skies and stuff... This poetry is making me, uh, lose my ruff.

A pup giggles in a very puppy-like way.

Dolly (now rapping): And if I can't rhyme, that's just fine because everything comes out silly. And poetry isn't my cup of, uh, tilly! And when I'm billy-nilly-filly so take it dilly, and frog it frilly!

Attracts more pups and Dylan. Dolly chuckles.

Dolly (rapping): I'm a night dog, day dog, morning dog too, but am I a poetry pooch? Nuh-uh, I'm just Dolly Dilly Doggy Dog Doo!

Pups: Yaayyy! Dolly Dilly Doggy Dog Doo! (giggles)

Dolly: Yeah, don't think Hansel's into silly dilly somehow.

Dylan: Hey, that was pretty uh-

Dolly: Awful? Appalling? Ughh!

Dylan: I was gonna say amusing? And the puppies sure seemed to dig it. Okay, what gives? You're acting weird.

Dolly: Okay, I may have kinda said your poem to Hansel and he kinda connected with it. And I sorta let him think I wrote it and now he wants more and I-

Dylan: Wait. Back up. Did I hear you say Hansel connected with my poem!?

Dolly: Uhhhh.... he-hey, your welcome.

Dylan: And he wants to hear more? Wow!

Dolly: Uh, sure. Listen. I could, you know, try your stuff out on him for ya.

Dylan: You'd do that? 'Cause I've always wanted my stuff out there! I just... public speaking, you know?

Dolly: Sure. Just so long as he *ahem* thinks they're... mine.

Dizzy: Hey. Isn't that called lying?

Dolly: It's called helping your brother! So, uh, dusk. That's when I'm meeting him

Dylan: What?! That's now! Uh! Uh, there's no time to teach you another poem...

Diesel: (imitating Clarissa's voice and impression) Who do those dalmatians think they are?

Clarissa: -Are? Probably not even purebred.

Dolly & Dylan: Idea!

Dolly: Thanks, Da Vinci! It may be a cone, but at least now it's designer.

Da Vinci: I prefer statement cone.

Dolly: OK. Let's test it.

Dylan chuckles, then says something we can't hear.

Dolly: Uh, hah! I do NOT look like a lamp!

Dylan: Haha! That thing really works! *Diesel growls and gnaws on his bandaged hind leg* Now, remember, no chewing your bandage.

Diesel: I dig it. No more chewing. *growls, chews leg*

Dylan: Okay. You're coming with!

*Dolly sighs*

Hansel: Don't tell me. Another fall?

Dolly: Actually, it's a statement cone. Totally on trend right now.

Hansel: So, about those verses.

Dolly: Coming right up. *growls, itching herself* Poetry always makes me itch.

Dylan: That's the signal! Okay. *ahem* What is the distance between the you you are and the you others see?

Dolly: What's... the distance between the you you are and the you others see?

Hansel: You get me. You so get me.

Dolly: In every mirror a second self, which is the watcher and which is the watched?

*Hansel chews on a bone*

*Diesel growls and bites his bandaged leg again*

Dylan: Don't chew that!

Dolly: Don't chew that!

*With a shocked expression, Hansel stops chewing the bone*

Dolly: While I'm, uh, reciting.

Hansel: Of course, Dolly. That was rude. Encore!

Dolly: "Encore" means you... want more poems?

Dylan: Consider the leash. Who holds who...

*Dylan is sitting on Diesel, who bites Dylan's butt*

Dylan: *Shrieks* Don't chew your leg!

Dolly: Aaaaaah! Don't chew your leg! *starts rapping* You'll have to get stitches redone. You know that's no fun! Here, chew my leg instead. Ow! *a pigeon starts beatboxing* You're acting silly! Wanna go back to the vet!? You'll have to stand on a scale. She'll check your bits! Timeout, one minute, two minutes! *stops rapping* I'm sorry, I don't know what I-

Hansel: Your words. They're intriguing!

Dolly: You like it?

Hansel: I love it. Hey, there's a poetry slam on the bandstand tonight. You must perform "Clouds are spots."

Dolly: Yes. I will perform...

She shakes her head, Dylan gives her a thumbs-up.

Dolly: ...my poetry. *She thumbs-ups him back*

Pups:

Dolly:

Pups

Dylan:

Dolly:

Dylan:

Dolly:

Dylan:

Pups:

Dylan:

Pup 1:

Pup 2:

Pup 3:

Pup 4: Inconsploocious.

Big Fee: It's a rat's word. Everyone's strategies. Earth for grabs. But it's all just rubbish if a guy gets some tasty grub *bwwsshh*

Spencer: Yeah, no.

Roxy:

Dolly:

Pup:

Dolly:

Audience: -gasp-

Fergus: So-ho not cool pinching stuff that doesn't belong to ya! *continues slurping from a slush that a man with earplugs has.

Roxy: It takes guts to come clean. Still proud!

Pups: We still love you sis!

Pup: Conspicuous!

Hansel: But if it wasn't you Dolly, then who spoke to my inner wolf?

Dolly: The real poet is... Dylan!

Audience

Dylan:

Dolly:

Pups

Dylan:

Pups:

Dylan:

Dolly:

Dolly & Dylan:

Dylan: Clouds are just the closest part. The sky beyond is beyond endless dark.

Audience & Pups:

Dolly:

Hansel: -gasp- It was him all along!

Dylan: Do yours too!

Dolly: I don't have any.

Dylan: Yeah you do! Your freestyle from earlier! That's the real you.

Pups: Clouds, stars, skies, & stuff! Clouds, stars, skies, & stuff! Clouds, stars, skies, & stuff!

Dolly (rapping): Uh, uh, uh, uh uh

Clouds, stars, skies 'n' stuff

This poetry is makin' me lose my ruff

And if I can't rhyme that's just fine

'Cos everything comes out silly

And poetry isn't my cup of tilly

And when I'm billy, nilly, filly

So take a gilly and rhyme with frilly

I'm a night dog, day dog

Morning dog too but am I a poetry pooch?

Nuh-uhh

I'm just Dolly dilly doggy dog doo

(Dolly dilly doggy dog doo!)

Dolly: (laughs) Come on you guys!

Hansel: Pup pop hip hop is so very well for puppies, but... it's just so mainstream. So Dylan, talk to me about dots, spots, cloud metaphors.

Dylan:

Hansel: Genius.

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