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Transcript
This is a transcribed copy of Poodlewolf!.
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Ride Along" Next: "The Longest Night"


Speaker Dialogue
TBA

Yo, bro! Eyes front!

27

00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:03,750

Check out my moves!

28

00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:04,917

Hey!

29

00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:10,875

Oh. Poodlewoof.

30

00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:14,917

Poodlewolf! And the Quest

for the Golden Chew Toy!

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00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,000

Look up "tragic" in any dictionary,

32

00:01:17,083 --> 00:01:19,166

and you'll find Poodlewoof!

33

00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:22,458

-[laughing]

<i>-Poodlewolf</i> is not tragic!

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00:01:22,542 --> 00:01:24,709

He's the fearless warrior

with a soft side--

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00:01:24,792 --> 00:01:25,959

his mother a savage wolf,

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00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:28,542

his father a mild-mannered poodle

from a grooming salon.

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00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:30,875

Blah blah blah blah blah blah!

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00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:32,250

Blah blah blah blah blah!

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00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:33,792

Blah blah blah blah blah!

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00:01:33,875 --> 00:01:35,166

Blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah!

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00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:36,250

[sobbing] Blah blah blah blah!

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00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:37,667

Fixed it!

43

00:01:37,750 --> 00:01:40,458

The integrated triple-axis

gyroscope was playing up.

44

00:01:40,542 --> 00:01:42,250

Ah, good work, Dawkins!

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00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,917

<i>Quest for the Golden Chew Toy!</i>

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00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,750

[laughs] Wowww!

47

00:01:47,834 --> 00:01:49,917

-[mystical music]

-Oh, this is amazing!

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00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,000

It's like I'm actually in Catetonia!

49

00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,125

Select character? Gotta be Poodlewolf!

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00:01:57,583 --> 00:01:58,834

Tragic.

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00:01:58,917 --> 00:02:01,208

Remember your 30-minute

game-time limit, Dylan!

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00:02:01,291 --> 00:02:02,792

Yep! Right. Super-addicted.

53

00:02:02,875 --> 00:02:03,834

Safety first!

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00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,375

[ticking]

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00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,417

[doorbell rings]

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[gasp]

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Yo, Dolly! Is Dylan here?

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We're set to hit up the poetry slam!

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00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:17,250

Uh, Dolly?

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00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:18,291

[swooning] Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dylan!

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Sure. I'll go get him.

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Ha! Ha! Heh-ha!

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<i>En garde! Touché!</i>

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-Spin! Ha!

-[timer ticking]

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00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:33,166

Uh, Dylan's, uh, busy right now

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00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:35,208

and asked me to step in for him.

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Uh, okay. Why not?

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[Dylan] Ha! Hey! Yah! Ha Ha!

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Ha! I Gotcha!

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[sigh, yawns]

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[birds singing]

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Huh? Hmm.

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[puppies] We want breakfast!

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00:02:51,041 --> 00:02:51,959

We want breakfast!

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00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:53,208

Where's Dylan?

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Haven't seen him since he started

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the <i>Quest for the Golden Chew Toy!</i>

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[gasp] The timer!

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00:02:58,834 --> 00:03:00,750

Ha! Yah! Yes!

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00:03:00,834 --> 00:03:02,125

Ha ha! Yah!

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00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:03,500

Hoo hoo!

83

00:03:03,834 --> 00:03:05,667

-Ha ha!

-[thud]

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He played through the entire night!

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00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,000

Oops!

86

00:03:14,834 --> 00:03:16,375

Dogsbody, get down!

87

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I sense that Furball is near!

88

00:03:17,917 --> 00:03:19,792

Ah-choo!

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Excuse me. Dogsbody?

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00:03:22,625 --> 00:03:25,333

That's Poodlewolf's unreliable sidekick.

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He's been playing the game so long now,

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he's locked into it!

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We're safe! For now.

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Come, Dogsbody! You too, Inventicus,

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occasionally competent egghead.

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Hey!

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Not actually Dogsbody.

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I know that, Princess.

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But do you know that

you're not really Poodlewoof?

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00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:44,500

The Mirror of All Truths begs to differ.

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Looking good lupine canine!

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Arooo!

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Yo, bro, quit messing

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and help me clean the house

and feed the pups!

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00:03:53,709 --> 00:03:55,083

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Plug him back in!

106

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What, are you crazy?

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If he finishes the game,

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he might just snap back to reality!

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You know how he hates

leaving things half done.

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Rrr! He left the vacuuming half...

[grunts] done!

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He needs to finish his quest!

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[crunch, timer dings]

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-[gasp]

-Dolly!

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[Dolly] Oh, no!

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Where is the magic sword?

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Without it, there is no hope

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of finding the Golden Chew Toy.

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Huh?

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Finding the Golden Chew Toy

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so the cat princess can regain the throne

of Catetonia.

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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

122

00:04:30,417 --> 00:04:33,083

Do I really need

to suffer through this guff?

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You want Dylan back, don't you?

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[panting]

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[sigh] Pro-ceed.

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According to legend,

the Kingdom of Catetonia

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00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:43,333

was once ruled by a fair feline princess,

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good and true.

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00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:48,166

But alas, Wicked Lord Furball

soon usurped her throne

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00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:50,166

after seizing the Golden Chew Toy,

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fabled font of all her powers,

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which he used to turn her

into a mere Dogsbody.

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Verily now, it came to pass

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that Poodlewolf defeated Furball,

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reclaimed the Golden Chew Toy,

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and returned the princess to her true form

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so she may save her subjects from--

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00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:01,875

Make it stop!

139

00:05:02,125 --> 00:05:04,834

Uh, where'd Poodlewolf go?

140

00:05:04,917 --> 00:05:06,917

I seek the magic sword!

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Have you seen it, o poor, smelly peasant?

142

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I beg your pardon?

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Ah, a battlecart! Take cover!

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[barking]

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[frustrated] Ohh! Oh!

146

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[sigh]

147

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He can't be far.

148

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Let's split up!

149

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[sniffing]

150

00:05:27,458 --> 00:05:30,500

Ha ha! I have found the magic sword!

151

00:05:32,417 --> 00:05:35,083

Which part of "no stealing stuff"

don't you get?

152

00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:36,834

Begone, Paw the Mighty!

153

00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:38,792

This sword is mine.

154

00:05:38,875 --> 00:05:40,041

Why is he talking funny?

155

00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:42,792

He, uh, ate some bad kibble?

156

00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,625

Stand back, Paw the Mighty!

157

00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:45,917

[yelps and gasps]

158

00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,583

[gasp] Behold!

The sword's magic is strong!

159

00:05:50,125 --> 00:05:51,083

Yo, Portia!

160

00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:52,625

You seen my-- Whoa!

161

00:05:53,041 --> 00:05:55,250

Dogsbody! Furball is afoot!

162

00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:56,417

We must hide!

163

00:05:56,875 --> 00:05:59,709

But there's only room

for two under my cloak of invisibility!

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00:06:00,291 --> 00:06:01,834

-Ugh!

-[Hansel] Could be marbles in a box,

165

00:06:01,917 --> 00:06:03,792

could be curly pasta locks.

166

00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:05,250

Could be kibble, could be rocks.

167

00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:06,750

Uh-oh. Hansel!

168

00:06:08,291 --> 00:06:11,083

[Dolly] Oh, we gotta figure out

how to finish this game

169

00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:12,542

and get Dylan back right now!

170

00:06:12,792 --> 00:06:15,166

So, to win the chew toy,

171

00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,125

Poodlewolf's gotta beat

his nemesis Furball?

172

00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:19,458

[Dawkins] The one-eyed cat-leopard

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00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:22,333

who fires lethal furballs

at 100 miles-per-hour!

174

00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:25,250

What if we were to role-play

the final showdown

175

00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:27,542

twixt Furball and Poodlewolf?

176

00:06:27,625 --> 00:06:29,709

Did you just say "twixt"?!

177

00:06:29,792 --> 00:06:31,041

Did I? [shudders]

178

00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:32,667

So, who we gonna get to play--

179

00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:33,583

[Dylan] Furball!

180

00:06:33,667 --> 00:06:35,041

Everyone get down!

181

00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:36,458

-[crash]

-Ah-choo!

182

00:06:40,417 --> 00:06:41,625

Aaah!

183

00:06:42,709 --> 00:06:43,750

Hmm...

184

00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:51,583

Hmm, I do have extensive

Kabuki theater experience,

185

00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:53,667

but cosplay?

186

00:06:54,542 --> 00:06:57,583

Was it not Guru Miaow who said,

187

00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:02,458

"The dog was born for a cage,

but the cat a stage"?

188

00:07:03,041 --> 00:07:04,041

Was it.

189

00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:05,291

Okay, probably not.

190

00:07:05,375 --> 00:07:08,000

But I'll make it worth your while.

191

00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:11,375

Actually, the pond-slash-larder

192

00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:13,709

does need a bit of a clean out.

193

00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:15,834

[Dolly] Ugh! Oh.

194

00:07:15,917 --> 00:07:17,083

[Dawkins groans]

195

00:07:17,583 --> 00:07:20,959

[gasp] The Towers of Catetonia!

196

00:07:21,834 --> 00:07:24,417

[dramatic music]

197

00:07:25,208 --> 00:07:27,834

Right. Let's get

this over with before Hans--

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00:07:27,917 --> 00:07:30,291

I mean, anyone else gets here.

199

00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:33,375

It is time!

200

00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:35,417

Yeah! Let's do it!

201

00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:37,041

Super-quick now!

202

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First, I must power the magic sword

203

00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:42,083

by reciting the 94 verses

204

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of the ancient poem

of the Kings of Kaynineia.

205

00:07:45,709 --> 00:07:48,917

"And so it was that on this day"--

206

00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,417

Ugh! It's too late! Furball approaches!

207

00:07:51,458 --> 00:07:54,667

[ominous music]

208

00:07:55,917 --> 00:07:57,083

[Dylan gasps]

209

00:07:57,166 --> 00:07:59,000

With the Golden Chew Toy!

210

00:07:59,083 --> 00:08:00,166

Poodlewolf!

211

00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:03,333

Or should I say Poodlewimp?

212

00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:05,667

[coughs]

213

00:08:05,834 --> 00:08:08,083

[coughing]

214

00:08:09,166 --> 00:08:13,417

Tremble before me and behold!

215

00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,500

[in unison with Constatin]

"To win the Golden Chew Toy,

216

00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:16,709

you must face..."

217

00:08:16,792 --> 00:08:21,625

the fabled flurry of feline furballs!

218

00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:23,959

Bring it on!

219

00:08:24,041 --> 00:08:26,417

[panting]

220

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[panting]

221

00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,875

[dramatic music]

222

00:08:30,959 --> 00:08:33,709

-[barking]

-[hissing]

223

00:08:33,792 --> 00:08:35,625

[dramatic music]

224

00:08:35,709 --> 00:08:38,667

-[barking]

-[yowling]

225

00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:44,166

Ha! Whoa!

226

00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:47,875

Blech!

227

00:08:47,959 --> 00:08:49,291

[crowd murmuring]

228

00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:50,834

The crowd loves me!

229

00:08:50,917 --> 00:08:53,125

Time to take center stage, Furball.

230

00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,542

Hey, Constantin, stay on script!

231

00:08:55,625 --> 00:08:58,125

-Remember, Dylan needs to win this-- Aah!

-[Constantin coughs]

232

00:08:58,208 --> 00:09:00,166

Constantin!

233

00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:02,333

For I have nine lives

234

00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,375

and you but one!

235

00:09:05,458 --> 00:09:06,750

[crowd gasps]

236

00:09:07,166 --> 00:09:08,417

[hisses]

237

00:09:10,291 --> 00:09:13,291

[growling]

238

00:09:13,375 --> 00:09:15,250

Prepare to beg!

239

00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:23,041

Princess, catch!

240

00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:25,250

Use the power of the Golden Chew Toy

241

00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:27,417

and reclaim your throne!

242

00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:31,125

[Constantin hisses]

243

00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:32,875

Princess, help!

244

00:09:33,417 --> 00:09:34,375

Whoa!

245

00:09:34,458 --> 00:09:38,709

[dramatic synthesizer music]

246

00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:42,750

-[roars]

-[thunder]

247

00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,417

I got you, bro!

248

00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:53,417

[crowd cheering]

249

00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,500

By the power of the Golden Chew Toy,

250

00:09:55,583 --> 00:09:59,125

I, Cat Princess, swear

to never bow before evil,

251

00:09:59,375 --> 00:10:02,083

to put my people's safety before my own,

252

00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,625

and to kick in the butt

253

00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:07,792

anyone who dares to touch

my family ever again!

254

00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:10,166

[hissing]

255

00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:11,208

[cough]

256

00:10:15,083 --> 00:10:16,417

Grrr!

257

00:10:19,375 --> 00:10:20,709

[startled meow]

258

00:10:23,959 --> 00:10:25,834

[smattering of applause]

259

00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,500

Aah! Oh!

260

00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:30,208

I'm melting!

261

00:10:30,291 --> 00:10:33,375

Melting into a puddle of pure evil!

262

00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,458

-Owww!

-[applause growing]

263

00:10:35,542 --> 00:10:38,834

[Dolly] At last! I need hide no more!

264

00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:42,041

Now I reclaim my rightful place

on the throne

265

00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:44,667

as Queen of Catetonia!

266

00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:48,583

[dramatic music crescendos]

267

00:10:51,625 --> 00:10:52,959

Huh, what? Huh?

268

00:10:53,291 --> 00:10:54,375

W-w-where am I?

269

00:10:54,458 --> 00:10:55,583

What's happening?

270

00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,041

Why do my eyes hurt?

271

00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,875

Aw, I know, bro.

272

00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:01,417

Here, take deep breaths.

273

00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:04,208

Kinda confused by this show

of affection, but okay.

274

00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:05,959

Hey, what's with the dumb cat ears?

275

00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,917

Oh! [laughs]

276

00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:09,333

Long story!

277

00:11:09,417 --> 00:11:10,291

Heh. So long.

278

00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:12,625

Well, that was unexpected.

279

00:11:12,709 --> 00:11:14,125

Listen, Hansel, I--

280

00:11:14,417 --> 00:11:15,792

This whole Poodlewolf thing?

281

00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,583

-Like, tragic--

-Tragic?

282

00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:19,000

That was awesome!

283

00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:21,542

I love the Poodlewolf!

284

00:11:21,667 --> 00:11:25,709

Now, about my pond-slash-larder.

285

00:11:26,542 --> 00:11:28,583

Ohh! Ugh!

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