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This is a transcribed copy of Who the Dog Do You Think You Are?.
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Power to the Puppies" Next: "All Fired Up"

The episode starts off with Dylan's imagination of him as an astronaut explorer on Mars. The atmosphere resembles Mars's surface.

Dylan: "Science officer Dylan reporting. No signs of life."

An innocent pup giggles in the distance.

Dylan: "Huh? What was that?"

The giggle comes again.

Dylan: "Ho no! I just hope it's not too terrifying, tiny, SPOTTED...."

Dylan pulls down a curtain to be revealed Dizzy and Dee Dee.

Dylan: "Dalmartians!"

Dizzy & Dee Dee: "Heeheeheehee! Martian tickle!"

Dylan: "Ahahahaha! Okay, you got me! You got me!"

Dizzy: "Mars's mission hide and seek is the best!"

Dee Dee: "Hey, Dizzy! That dog has the exact same spots as Dylan!"

Dylan: Ah! Guess he kinda does, Dee Dee.

Dee Dee: "Who is he, Dylan?"

Dizzy: "Why is he wearing a crown?"

Dylan: I believe he's the prince of Dalmatia.

Dizzy: "Princes rule stuff, right?"

Dee Dee: "Ooh, you were born to rule!"

Dizzy & Dee Dee: "Dylan is a prince! Dylan is a prince!"

Clarissa overhears the commotion.

Clarissa: What? A prince?

Dolly: (laughter) "Dylan? A prince!? (laughs some more) That's hilarious! Ahahahahaa!"

Dee Dee: It's true, Dolly.

Dizzy: We can prove it.

Dolly: "Huh?"

The pups murmur and then chant the word prince.

Clarissa: Dylan? From royalty? Not actually ruff-raff. Hmm. One must find out more. Gughhh!

Clarissa Intervenes


Clarissa makes that exclamation while falling on top of items she stacked to eavesdrop on the commotion.

Dolly: Yep. Spinning image. But don't start thinking you're some kind of big deal now.

Dylan: Bwuh-ha! Not much chance around here!

Dolly: "Bwuh-ha! (fake voice) Prince Dylan of ridiculous!

Dylan: Careful Dolly! (fake voice) Or it'll be off with your head!

Dolly: (laughter, fake voice) Oh, I'm so scared, Dylan Von Dylanburg!

The doorbell rings.

Clarissa: "We're here to see Dylan."

Dolly: "Hey!"

Clarissa: Rumor has it that you're-

Pups: "Incoming!"

Clarissa: (in awe) "Descended from royalty!... Prince Dylan of Dalmatia."

Dylan: Uhhh, durrr, I guess?

Arabella: So gallant.

Prunella: So admirable.

Clarissa: I had no idea we had royalty living right next door. Aren't you clever pretending to be common? But you've never fooled me."

Dolly: Hey! You can't barge in here like you're all that!

Dylan tries to say something but is shushed by Clarissa. Clarissa then crowns him officially as "Prince Dylan of Dalmatia."

Clarissa: I declare this the throne room. The prince! The prince! All hail the Prince!

Pups: (variously) Hoorayyy! Let's go Dylan! Whooo!

Dolly: "Huh. Seriously?"

Clarissa: "Someone failed to pledge allegiance. We shall have to keep an eye on her, ladies."

Dylan: You know, if I was a prince, I might be able to do some really good for me! I mean, my subjects. That'd be kind of cool.

Clarissa: No less! The life of a royal prince is ever so fulfilling! I'm going to have, I mean.. *clears throat* You're going to have a wonderful time, your highness.

Dolly: More like your minus, aheh!

Dylan: Uh, look. Thanks but no thanks, Clarissa. It was nice of you to drop by, but I gotta get back to my chores.

Clarissa: -gasp-

Arabella & Prunella: Chores!?

Clarissa: Princes don't do chores!

Dylan: "Oh?"

Clarissa: From this day forth, there shalt be waited on. And in paw.

Dolly: "Ha! Look lady, the prince of pooch here is not gonna be waited on by anyone, especially not by me. Hey!"

Clarissa: "I shall see personally that you will never left a paw again. Once I'm officially accepted into the royal court, of course! Here's my courtier application form. Sign here!"

Dolly:(muffled, behind the doors) "Dylan! Ugh, just WHO the dog do you think you are!?"

Dylan: Hmm. A break from chores and it will drive Dolly nuts. Hahaha!

Pups: Yaaayyy!

Clarissa: Hurrah! (laughing through closed mouth) Now, who wants to be loyal subjects in the royal court?"

The pups chant 'me!' variously in eagerness.

Dylan: Ahhhh... Eek!

Dolly: So, how long do you plan to keep this up, my majestic mutt?"

The Rumor Spreads


Clarissa: "Out. I would like to invite you to meet the Prince of Dalmatia! Tasteful gift of mine."

Clarissa uses the Worldwide Woof to summon the upper-class dogs to come see Dylan, who has a reputation as 'Prince of Dalmatia.' A chihuahua in a bicycle basket hears Clarissa's news and spreads the word. The message then links to two large twin upper-class dogs, then a spaniel in a limo, and then an old dog who cannot hear well and needs her doggy servant to spread the word. Soon a line of rich, spoiled dogs (and a non-fancy golden retriever who wears a bandana, and was the only dog in the WWW sequence to not howl for this episode) are at the door of the Dalmatians house.

Dizzy & Dee Dee: Here you go, prince.

Dolly: Of seriously annoying Pushing it now, bro!

Dizzy: Pbbbbbtt!

Dee Dee: Hmph!

Dylan: Hmmmff.

Dizzy: This game isn't fun anymore.

Dee Dee: Clarissa is kind of bossy.

Dolly: Okay, enough prince pampering. I'm gonna talk to Dylan dog to dog.

Clarissa: -sigh-

Dolly: I demand to speak to my brother!

Clarissa: Without a royal appointment.

Dolly: Listen, Corgi! I-

Clarissa: Why don't we talk about this outside?

Dolly: Outside? Why outside?

Clarissa locks her and the pups out of the throne room. Dolly is quite annoyed at her.

Dolly: Ugh! Why you stuck-up-

Clarissa: Only those loyal to Prince Dylan are allowed in court. Toodle-loo!

Dolly: RrrrRRR!

Dylan: Huh... It really is Dollsville here without...Dolly?

Arabella pushes the load of pups out of Dylan's reign. The pups exclaim variously about how unfair she is being.

Da Vinci: "Thbbppt!"

Pups: "Aw, no fair! Drop it! Hey!"

Clarissa laughs smugly at them.

The pups continue to jeer, complain, and try to confront Clarissa for her unfairness.

Dylan: "Hey! Why is everyone locked out!?"

Prunella: "You mean banished!"

Arabella: "They're disloyal subjects."

Dylan: "They're not subjects. They're my family! Oomph!"

Clarissa: "We'll be our family, now. Especially after our royal wedding."

Dylan: "What!? Our. Wedding!? Uh, I-I-I-I'm too young to get married!"

Clarissa: "But Dillykins dearest! You've already signed our marriage certificate."

Dylan: "B-but that was your courtier's application!"

Clarissa: "Ooh, I think you find it says 'marriage certificate."

She points to the words and Dylan finally realizes what he has done.

Dylan: "Ohhh no! Oh my dog! Oh my dog! Oh my dog!"

Clarissa: "Then, after our official 'royal wedding,' I'll help you rule when I want and deal with the ruff-raff."

Clarissa: "Ooh! Look! What an adorable doggy top for Dillykins to wear!"

Arabella & Prunella croon and agreeably explain with Clarissa while gazing at the magazine.

Clarissa: "I'm going to dedicate the rest of my life to my prince telling him what to wear, where to go, what to do. Where do you think you're going?"

Dylan: Uh, nowhere! Uh, I was just wondering what color bowls we should have at our wedding! Yeah!"

Clarissa: Bowls!? Bowls...

Prunella: Pink with laughing doll? Baby blue?

Clarissa: Ugh, oh ghost prune. That will clash with the kibble cake icing!"

The pups continue to complain for Dylan.

Dolly: "Well, well, well. If it isn't a royal visit from Prince Loser of Loserania! Okay, I'm running out of inventive insults."

Dylan: "Dolly, please. I need your help."

Dolly: "What? To plump your cushions?"

Dylan: "No. Clarissa tricked me. She got me to sign a marriage certificate!

Dolly & the pups burst into laughter about the marriage certificate.

Dolly: "You're marrying Clarissa?! A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Dylan: "This ain't!... Okay, this is serious. She wants a big royal wedding. You gotta help me, please!"

Dolly: Ahaha, I gotta! (laughter) Really?

Dylan: "Okay, okay. You were right. I am Prince Dylan of ridiculous. And now I'm stuck with Princess Clarissa!"

Dolly: (laughter) W-wait a minute. That would make her my... my sister-in-law! Ahhhh! (breathes heavy) It's time for... a revolution!"

Dylan: Ughh! Yeck! Ptoo! Princess, Clarissa. Come here at once! I won't ask twice. What is this!?

Clarissa: Uh, it's some holes the food was having at the wedding!"

Dylan: "Are we having a royal wedding or some common streak party? This tastes like it's from a discount supermarket! One sibling must have the finest kibble in the kingdom!"

Clarissa: Dylan! I-I *scoff* Arabella! Prunella! Why do you think-

Dylan: I expected higher standards from you, Clarissa! Kibble. The best! NOW!

Clarissa: Gughhh!

Dylan: Is that bowl gold!? Where is my filtered water? Bring on the bonbons!"

Dolly: "Huh?"

Clarissa: "Ugh, so demanding. -sigh- I'm sure there's something a dog can approve of."

Dolly hides from Clarissa by disguising herself as the royal canine in the portrait. She succeeds.

Dolly: "Whew! That was close."

Dolly unlocks the chest to find the copies where Clarissa kept them. She knows how to start the revolution as promised.

Dolly: Harrmph! (the exclamation of her biting onto something)

Dylan: "I'm thinking the back garden for the wedding marquee."

Clarissa, Arabella, and Prunella: -gasp-

Dolly: "Don't worry, Dylan. You are now officially... Unmarried!"

Dylan: Yes! I'm unmarried. I'm unmarried. (sing-songy, does moonwalk) I'm unmarried! I'm unmarried!

Clarissa: Well played. But I made copies! Mwahahaha!

Dylan: "Noooo!"

Clarissa: "Yes. It's you and me forever. (evil laugh) You must do your royal duty now as the Prince of Dalmatia.

Dolly notices the black of the canine in the portrait dripping. She then notices a little extra black on her ears and shakes it off. Dolly realizes the black in the portrait is just snoot and once she brushes the dust from the painting, she realizes the canine in the portrait was not related to Dylan at all!

Dolly: "Huh?"

Dylan: "Those spots were just... dust?"

Arabella: "He's not even a Dalmatian!"

Prunella: "Not.. a prince? Not a prince? (huffy) Not a prince! Not a prince!"

Dolly: "Yup! Ahahh! Just plain ol' Dylan!"

Clarissa: "You mean... I. Married. A commoner!?"

Clarissa romps around shredding all of her copies. She does this due to her being mad at her foolishness all this time and frustration.

Clarissa: "Hrrrr! Grrrr! I! Married! I! Married! I! Married! Rrr! Grrrgh!"

Clarissa: "Come, girls. Let us never speak of this again."

Delilah: "Ah, hello ladies. Uh, what's been going on?"

Dylan & Dolly: "Hey Mom!"

Delilah: "And what's the prince of Dalmatia doing down here?"

Dylan: "We found him in the attic. Is he royalty?"

Delilah: "Ahaha! No, he was $9.99 in Camden Market. He is as common as we are, Dylan."

The episode ends with Clarissa coming across portraits of the canine in the royal portrait. She tries to ignore it, adding a touch to the episode's end.

Clarissa: "Hmph!"

Delilah: "Hahahaha!"